"And love was why Brooks walked backwards everyday, guarding our vulnerable rear as we moved."
http://thinking-anonymous.blogspot.com/
2. This person had weakness number one, they should try to avoid the "he says" or in this case "he writes."
In the excerpt from The Mezzanine by Nicholson Baker, he writes with an elevated refinement that is both dignified and straight-forward.
http://morgan-happygolucky.blogspot.com/
3. They have weakness number 9, by not placing a noun or a noun phrase after the word this.
This gives the impression of a fancy an intimidating lobby. Also, the matter of fact way Baker describes the lobby makes the reader sense that this is somewhere to not be impressed with, its an everyday occurrence.
http://skullandglossbones3.blogspot.com/
4. This person violated weakness number 6 by saying using and utilizes in the same sentence.In the excerpt from Cather in the Rye, J.D. Salinger, utilizes a use of simple, but complex vocabulary.
http://barrellxc2012.blogspot.com/
This one is my favorite:)
The colloquial, coarse, and somewhat unmannerly diction in "Catcher in the Rye" exemplifies the narrator's down-to-earth, pissed off at the world personality. His defiant and thick skinned nature jumps out when he explains that all the background information about his life is just "David Copperfield kind of crap" that bores him. As the passage goes on, the author uses phrases like "He's got a lot of dough" and "they're also touchy as hell" to make it feel as though the narrator is just another regular kid who is telling you a story. The terse and all together informal nature of the narrator echoes through the entire passage in this excerpt from "Catcher in the Rye."
http://jimmehftw.blogspot.com/
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